How to behave (when you haven’t behaved at all)

charlie-lehmann

by Charlie Lehmann
When he’s not creating mischief in other people’s bars, you can find Charlie at the bar he co-owns, Sydney’s Ramblin’ Rascal Tavern.

I’d like to make an apology to the following establishments: The Baxter Inn, Mojo Record Bar, The Lobo Plantation, Black Pearl, Shady Pines, Tios Cerveceria, Ivy, Palmer and Co, Frankie’s, anywhere in Bondi, Pure Platinum, Penrith Panthers, Hello Sailor, Le Bon Ton and many others. 

This apology is on behalf of me either getting naked, spilling my drinks, standing on things that aren’t made to be stood on, starting a mosh pit, starting a food fight, being too inebriated to get in, being too inebriated to get out, touching things that weren’t mine, distracting your staff, harassing your staff, breaking glassware accidentally, breaking glassware on purpose, wrestling, crowd surfing or all of the above.

Yet I still regret nothing!

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Because even though I have been escorted out of or have been denied from one and possibly all of these venues in some state I have returned the next week, sometimes the next day, sat down and had a beer and laughed about or profusely apologised for my antics. 

We have all done it, we’re having a little too much of a good time and been asked to pull it in, to leave or not to come in at all. No biggie, as bartenders we know and understand the protocol and many of us are more than happy to oblige, even after said rejection or destruction, to leave and come back another time. 

If, as a guest I had any issue, and there would’ve been none in my case because I was always the culprit, I would’ve taken this up with management the next day. We know in our field of work that we are expected to be slinging booze, spitting Grade A chat and having a good time all the while being professional and courteous to our guests but we all also know that at times it can be testing and especially with one of our own comrades acting the fool or holding court. Any gripe with a fellow bartender also brings me back to letting management know if warranted.

The advent of social media has granted many a soap box to express how many times they take a dump and unfortunately sometimes the shit can flow not just while in the lavatory but also from our minds, to mouth to keyboard. For me to jump on Facebook and speak my mind would be an utmost dangerous thing especially while under the influence and in no way if I ever had a Freudian slip would I insult any fellow bartender regardless the situation or context. Even in the circumstance of you being the victim of some heartless conspiracy to deny you a beverage, ridicule and venomous vitriol over social media will not get you a Melbourne Bitter anytime soon — if ever again.

So I implore you dear reader if you are anything like me, too loose for my own good, and you are asked to exit to the left, be graceful and get your hand off it.. the keyboard too.

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