You don’t need a brosé to get the most from rosé


Hey bro, do you even rosé? I don’t know if you’ve heard, but apparently more men are drinking rosé wine.
Aside from the fact that rosé is one of the best drinks you can drink during summer — we’re pretty sure that’s been proven by science — and despite the fact there’s been some top-notch stuff being produced for, like, ever, the main driver behind this upsurge seems to be the fact that bros like to say the word ‘bros’ and append it to other words.
You got that, Brosef?

This summer you’ll see all number of bromances blossoming over a brottle of brosé. Yes, brosé.

The famously pink wine has been the subject of a number of stories in the press in the northern hemisphere during their last summer. It seems that a story in Details, a men’s magazine, titled ‘Make Way For Brosé: Why More Men Are Drinking Pink’ kicked off a wave of stories, with claims like “the New Rosé is a finding a hospitable environment in the 21st-century, metroflexible landscape.”

I don’t know what that term means, but I imagine many of these bros — seen toasting (broasting?) their bros with brosé and wearing polo shirts and brogues on their 30-foot broat in the middle of the brocean — have operated in a metroflexible environment for decades: the towel-snapping confines of the jock’s locker room. #MadMonday.


The sad thing is, I suspect some of the bros are doing it wrong. “It’s kind of like the beer of wine,” was one quote in the Details piece, from actor Sam Daly (who is most probably doing the acting thing wrong, too — look up his IMDB). Then again, that’s a pretty bro thing to say, like, referring to the harbour as the land of the sea. (No, it doesn’t make any sense.)

Oh, and what’s this bro Daly’s favourite brosé? Well, I don’t know if it’s any good as I haven’t tried it, but it’s called Whispering Angel. Which kind of sounds creepy. (If you don’t have any reason to distrust angels, just know that when the “apocalypse” comes these angry bros will blow a trumpet — the first sound of which brings hail and fire mixed with blood raining down on the earth. Overkill, much? In all likelihood it’s reminiscent of the hangover you’ll get when drinking shitty rosé.)


OK then. What does makes a good rosé?

Esteemed wine writer and master of wine, Jancis Robinson, has been charting the return of rosé for a while; back in 2005, she penned a piece outlining how the French regions of Bordeaux, Provence, the Languedoc, the Loire and more were putting out fine examples of rosé; so too the New World, and Spain and Portugal (not so much the Italians).

The trick to a worthwhile rosé, argued Robinson, was that the fruit needs to be balanced with a good helping of acidity — that’s why it’s so good chilled.

The character that is best avoided in a rosé? Steer clear of too much sweetness and one-dimensional flavor. There’s no reason why rosé can’t have complexity, balance, acidity and length, and the drops that don’t have this are better off left to the bros who aren’t your bros while you go mix yourself a Nebroni.

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